I don't know any other way to say this, so I'll just say it. We did our first transfer on September 22. We transfered two of our embryo babies. (Yes, I did previously say we were only going to transfer one, but that is a story for another post.) Ten days later I had a blood test done to test for HCG (pregnancy hormone). It was positive, but very low at 24. We knew then it was possible our pregnancy would last, but that it was unlikely to.
Three days later I was tested again and that test showed my HCG level was down to 2 (anything below 5 is considered a negative pregnancy test).
So, I'm no longer pregnant. I'm heartbroken. I don't understand and I never will.
I do know that God is faithful. Even in this. It's hard to see how at this point, but I know it's true.
The song "Blessed Be Your Name" resonated with me in the miscarriage we experienced in early 2011 and it does again with me now. It's an excellent reminder that we praise and glorify our Lord in all things. We can't only love and worship Him when he gives us what we ask for. When things are difficult, He's still there and He still deserves our love. It can be hard for me to remember that in times like this and so I'm thankful for songs like this to help me when I want to forget that.
Please pray for us as we wait for the opportunity to move forward with another transfer and for our broken hearts too.
