Sadness, frustration and impatience. Those are all of my initial reactions to this circumstance.
I have never been a very patient person. I do not like traveling to places (I enjoy when we arrive, but not the travel time). I want to arrive places quickly. I find myself impatient with other drivers who do not seem to care as much as I do about arriving quickly. At the grocery store, I always try to find the shortest line to checkout in to avoid waiting, even going so far as to change lines if it seems quicker (and then feeling incredibly frustrated as that inevitably turns out to be a bad move). It always feels like waiting is a waste of my time.
However, I've learned over time (or I should say I'm still learning) that patience is not really about not minding a slow pace, but rather it's more of a help for us to lean on God when we have no control over a situation. I can't force people to drive the speed limit or in the slow lane, nor can I force the paperwork for our adoption to finally go through. I have done everything I can to make this process happen, the rest is up to other human beings. Those humans don't have as much invested in this as I do, nor are they perfect. Mistakes happen.
I found the perfect quote to help me through this situation:
“The times we find ourselves having to wait on others may be the perfect opportunities to train ourselves to wait on the Lord.” ~ Joni Eareckson Tada
Instead of yelling in frustration, getting angry or crying, I'm learning to go to my Lord in prayer. And not to pray that He'll make that guy drive faster or to magically have our embryos here now, but rather pray that I will be patient and wait for His timing. I really have zero control over this situation, but I do have control over my emotions. When I pray over the situation and release the impatience to Him, I really do have a sense of calm and patience. I feel thankful that I don't have to be the one dealing with the impatience anymore. God takes the worry and puts His hand over the situation (Read Phil. 4:6-7). It's so much easier on me that way and I'm so thankful He gives us this avenue of prayer to give our worries and frustrations up to Him.
The embryos will arrive when they arrive and it will be in God's timing. We'll have this baby(ies) when the time is right. And that's ok. I can wait.
I do need to report on our fundraising efforts as well. We've raised so much money towards our probable $10,000-$15,000 adoption costs. So far, with our fundraisers and kind donations by so many friends and family, we have raised $5,788.39 towards our total cost! That is possibly more than half the amount we will spend. We are VERY blessed to have raised so much and we thank each of you that has contributed!
And we're not done yet. I had a very sweet friend offer to host another Thirty-One party which has now closed, but we're still waiting to hear the total amount from that party, so more will come in there.
Additionally, we have set up a website through Prue Charity where tax deductible donations can be made. It will only be open for a few days. If you have not contributed, but would like to, you can go to this link and make a tax deductible donation towards our adoption. We have a goal of $5,000 shown on the website, but over half of that has already been met with a portion of the money we've raised that I mentioned above. Prue Charity also offers a sweet deal to individuals who like to shop online, but also want to help people raise fund towards their causes. If you like to shop online at places like Walmart, Target, Gap, and so many more, check out this link to learn how you can shop and help us out at the same time! However, our fundraiser will only be open through March 31. I'm going to push it on Facebook over the weekend in a last ditch effort to raise more funds. Please pray for us to raise as much as we can. Thank you so much!
And, lastly, here are some Easter pictures of our sweet Kinsley girl to give you a smile!